An introductory SIR framework
Some people notice that emotional suppression, chronic self-minimization, unexpressed frustration, or years of carrying emotional strain can eventually begin to feel physical as well.
Not always dramatically.
Sometimes quietly.
Tight shoulders.
Jaw tension.
Headaches.
A constantly braced stomach.
Shallow breathing.
Exhaustion that never fully leaves.
A sense of remaining internally “on” even while trying to rest.
For some people, especially those accustomed to over-functioning, caregiving, emotional suppression, or chronic self-doubt, the body may spend years holding tension that never fully gets resolved, expressed, recognized, or released.
Anchorholds™, Loading™, and Unloading™
(ALUs) are exploratory grounding practices developed within Scapegoat in Recovery (SIR) as optional ways some people experiment with:
• emotional recognition
• nervous-system nourishment
• grounding
• emotional decompression
• self-encouragement
• and the release of long-suppressed internal tension.
These practices are not intended as medical treatment, psychotherapy, diagnosis, or crisis care, and no specific outcome is promised or guaranteed.
Rather, ALUs are intended as gentle, private, self-guided spaces where some people begin reconnecting with parts of themselves that may have been chronically dismissed, compressed, silenced, overburdened, or emotionally undernourished.
What Are Anchorholds™?
Different people may prefer different positions, though the primary Anchorhold position used within SIR involves:
• one hand placed firmly across the upper chest, with the first two fingers resting gently across one clavicle and the thumb resting across the opposite clavicle, while the palm rests firmly against the upper chest
• the other hand placed across the lower ribcage/upper abdomen, with the fingers extending across one side of the ribcage and the heel of the hand resting across the opposite lower ribcage.
Many people report that skin-on-skin contact tends to create the strongest calming and grounding effect, though clothing contact may also feel supportive and effective.
Some people notice that even gentle-to-moderate compression across the chest Anchorhold position may feel immediately grounding during moments of stress, overwhelm, anxiety, emotional activation, or nervous-system escalation.
Because of this, some people use the chest Anchorhold independently throughout daily life:
• during stressful conversations
• while driving
• before sleep
• after upsetting interactions
• during periods of anxiety or anytime additional grounding feels supportive.
Other grounding positions may also feel effective, including:
• hands resting on the thighs
• hands across opposite upper arms (“pseudo hug”)
• or other physically steady, emotionally supportive positions.
The purpose is not rigid perfection or exact technique.
The purpose is creating a physically grounded space where emotional recognition, encouragement, expression, or release may feel easier to access.
Emotional Malnourishment
Many people receive very little genuine recognition throughout life.
Some were praised primarily for:
• being useful
• being quiet
• being responsible
• being easy
• taking care of others
• suppressing their own needs
• or enduring difficult situations without complaint.
Others spent years working hard, carrying emotional labor, adapting constantly, solving problems, helping others, or surviving painful environments while receiving little acknowledgment, encouragement, celebration, reassurance, or emotional support in return.
Over time, some people begin to feel emotionally and physically depleted in ways they cannot fully explain.
SIR sometimes refers to this as emotional malnourishment: the gradual depletion that can occur when encouragement, recognition, safety, validation, celebration, and emotional replenishment are chronically absent or minimized.
Some people discover they can easily absorb criticism, pressure, guilt, or responsibility—but struggle to emotionally absorb praise, encouragement, pride, accomplishment, or deserved recognition.
ALUs were partially developed as an exploratory response to that imbalance.
Loading™
Loading is the intentional practice of “feeding” the nervous system with deserved recognition, encouragement, acknowledgment, celebration, reassurance, accomplishment, or supportive internal language while holding an Anchorhold position.
For some people, Loading becomes a way of practicing:
• healthy pride
• emotional nourishment
• internal encouragement
• self-recognition
• emotional replenishment
• and allowing positive truths to emotionally “land” rather than immediately being dismissed or minimized.
Loading is not intended as forced positivity, superiority, ego inflation, or denial of pain.
Instead, it invites some people to begin recognizing effort, endurance, skill, progress, growth, survival, or accomplishment more honestly and generously than they may have been taught to.
The following Loading statements are only examples.
Some people repeat the same statements regularly, while others create their own based on accomplishments, strengths, emotional needs, encouragement, progress, resilience, pride, effort, or recognition they wish they had received more consistently throughout life.
Loading sessions may be brief or extended depending on what feels emotionally replenishing, grounding, nourishing, or supportive.
Many people find that consistency matters more than duration.
For some, even five minutes daily or most days feels more supportive than occasional longer sessions.
ALUs may also be practiced as frequently as feels supportive or emotionally beneficial, including:
• once daily
• multiple times daily
• briefly during stressful moments
• or anytime grounding, encouragement, nourishment, emotional release, or nervous-system decompression feels needed.
Others naturally adapt them over time in ways that feel personally meaningful or effective.
Examples of Loading statements may include:
• “I did an exceptional job keeping my cool today.”
• “I handled way more today than most people could’ve.”
• “I was so nervous, but I feel really great about how I did in that presentation today!”
• “I’ve worked unbelievably hard to build my life.”
• “I deserve to feel proud of what I accomplished.”
• “I did a good job in adapting quickly to a lot of stressful situations today.”
• “I’ve become truly resilient.”
• “I’m actually really good at what I do.”
• “I got an incredible amount accomplished today—that feels really great.”
• “I surprised myself that I was able to fix that all by myself—that was cool!”
• “I am proud of myself for asking for help today.”
• “I carried an unbelievable amount for a very long time.”
• “I’m giving myself the recognition I never really got—and it feels good!”
• “I kept showing up for people even when I was running on fumes.”
• “I’ve developed remarkable strength from everything I’ve navigated.”
• “I deserve to recognize how much I’ve accomplished without enough support.”
For some people, this type of recognition may gradually feel less uncomfortable, foreign, or undeserved over time.
Unloading™
Unloading creates a private space where some people experiment with allowing difficult emotions expression rather than permanently compressing or swallowing them.
Some people choose to Unload:
• quietly
• conversationally
• emotionally
• tearfully
• loudly
• angrily
• with cursing
• or with full-volume emotional release.
All of these approaches are valid.
Normal speaking volume is completely acceptable if that feels most natural.
At the same time, many people discover that yelling, shouting, crying, venting, or emotionally forceful expression creates a much stronger sense of release, decompression, relief, grounding, or nervous-system discharge.
If anger, frustration, fear, sadness, or emotional intensity were historically discouraged, punished, minimized, mocked, or made unsafe, emotional expression may initially feel deeply uncomfortable or unfamiliar.
Ironically, these individuals often appear to benefit the most from Unloading practices.
Some people discover they were never truly allowed to feel angry safely at all.
Within ALUs, safely expelling anger privately and non-destructively is a normal and healthy human experience rather than something shameful or dangerous.
If emotional expression did not feel safe earlier in life, it may still become safe now within private, grounded, emotionally contained environments.
Some people practice Unloading:
• in private rooms
• in parked cars
• while driving alone
• pulled over safely in quiet areas
• in empty parking lots
• outdoors
• or in other private spaces where emotional freedom feels safer and less inhibited.
Many people find that having privacy significantly increases their ability to fully release emotional tension without self-monitoring or feeling vulnerable.
Like Loading, Unloading sessions may be brief or extended depending on what feels grounding, relieving, replenishing, emotionally complete, or physically lighter afterward.
Some people practice Unloading occasionally.
Others practice daily or multiple times throughout the day.
Many people report that consistency tends to matter more than duration.
For some, even five minutes most days feels more impactful than occasional longer sessions.
The following statements are only examples.
Some people repeat familiar statements regularly, while others create spontaneous Unloading statements based on whatever frustration, grief, anger, fear, exhaustion, resentment, sadness, or emotional tension feels most present in the moment.
Examples may include:
• “I am SO angry about how I was treated today!!”
• “I worked my butt off and still got criticized!!”
• “I needed support, too!!”
• “I’m exhausted from feeling like I’m carrying everything alone!!”
• “That REALLY hurt me when they said that!!”
• “I deserved better SO much better than what I got from that situation!!”
• “I am DONE swallowing my feelings just to keep everyone else comfortable!!”
Some people report that allowing emotions movement instead of chronic suppression may gradually reduce internal tension, emotional compression, chronic bodily bracing, or nervous-system overload over time.
“De-patterning”
SIR sometimes loosely refers to the gradual interruption or softening of chronic emotional tension states as “de-patterning.”
Some people notice that repeated emotional suppression, chronic fear, self-minimization, or long-term emotional compression may contribute to recurring tension patterns within the body and nervous system.
ALUs may assist some individuals in gently interrupting or softening those patterns through:
• grounding
• emotional expression
• emotional nourishment
• recognition
• self-encouragement
• or emotional decompression.
No specific outcome is promised or guaranteed, and emotional pacing matters.
Some people move slowly with these practices.
Others naturally adapt them over time.
Important Clarifications
ALUs are not:
• medical treatment
• psychotherapy
• emergency mental-health care
• crisis intervention
• or a replacement for professional support when needed.
People are encouraged to move gently, pace themselves appropriately, and discontinue practices that feel significantly overwhelming or destabilizing.
Different people may respond differently to these exercises.
Closing
For some people, ALUs become a quiet private space where long-suppressed tension, recognition, encouragement, frustration, grief, pride, or relief can finally move instead of remaining permanently compressed in the body.
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